The end of the Roman Empire is a major event in human history. What was the cause of it and when did it happen? The exact end to the empire is still a mystery today. The Roman Empire fell due to the combination of many bad things happening. The Roman Empire evolved into something new.
The Romans collapsed because migrants stripped them of their tax base. According to Heather, “A two-stage process occurred between the battle of Hadrianople in 378 AD, when the emperor Valens and two-thirds of his army (upwards of 10,000 men) fell in a single afternoon at the hands of an army of Gothic migrants, to the deposition of Romulus Augustulus nearly a century later.”
The people of Rome did not know what they were doing. According to Shenkman,"Rome fell, to be sure. It just didn't fall when it was supposed to. All the reference books say it fell in A.D. 476. But Romans didn't know this, and kept the empire going for another two centuries or so." Historians decided to say it would be easiest for the Roman Empire to end in the year 476 AD because it was the last year for the last emperor to rule.
The Romans were destroyed by the Barbarians. Gibbon states, “the endless column of Barbarians pressed on the Roman empire with accumulated weight; and, if the foremost were destroyed, the vacant space was instantly replenished by new assailants.” Gibbon also said, “The empire of Rome was firmly established by the singular and perfect coalition of its members. The subject nations, resigning the hope, and even the wish, of independence, embraced the character of Roman citizens; and the provinces of the West were reluctantly torn by the Barbarians from the bosom of their mother-country.” The Romans were unaware of their danger and the number of their enemies (Gibbon).
The Romans had, after all, a collapsed empire. The end of the empire is still argued today because no one knows when it truly happened. The barbarians, immigrants, and the destruction of the Roman Empire led it to fall.
Works Cited:
Heather, P. (2011). The fall of rome. Retrieved from http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/ancient/romans/fallofrome_article_01.shtml
Gibbon, E. (n.d.). General observations on the fall of the roman empire in the west. Retrieved from http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/gibbon-fall.html
Shenkman, R. (1993). Legends, lies & cherished myths of world history. Retrieved from http://www.tamos.net/~rhay/romefall.html
You kind of contradicted yourself. when you put the opposing view after the thesis you don't want it to be a statement more so an argument.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you need 4 sentences of analysis for each of your quotes.
Your paragraphs are not 5 sentences long and your conclusion is lacking.
Your emphasis to me is really in your second body paragraph.
You definitely missed number 11
you really have some work to do on this.
"The Roman Empire fell due to the combination of many bad things happening."
ReplyDeleteBe more specific in your thesis. What "bad things" happened? And ask yourself if you are fully answering the question: do you think the "fell" or did it "evolve"? You might set it up by saying: "The Roman Empire did not evolve, rather _____ year (or ______ events) marks the ultimate collapse of what had once been the greatest empire in the world."
Review:
ReplyDelete1- You need longer paragraphs.
2- It is okay, but you could make it better and really make it stand out. Also, in your first paragraph, you might want make "What was the cause of it and when did it happen?" a statement. EX: “There is a lot of dispute on the cause and the time when the empire ended.” It would sound better in my opinion, but it is up to you.
3- Good quotes and citing !!! Remember in-text citations are directly after the quote itself.
4- no analysis?
5- It is okay, but you could make it better. Argue your point and really set the record straight.
6- Good
7- yes
8- yes
9- yes, you just need to explain them so it evens out
10- yes, but work on the argument part, not just the facts
11- okay